Church bulletin bloopers
My blogging friend John K of A Reasonable Faith has posted two lists of church bulletin bloopers. Here are some more, which I’ve collected over the years from various sources.
Announcement in a church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
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Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
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For all the allergy sufferers in our congregation, this is a flower-free Communion Sunday. Opening hymn: “Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming”
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The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing “Break Forth Into Joy.”
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers’. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
And then there was the strange case of Trinity 3 morphing into Lotto Sunday