Wisdom From the Desert

"A time is coming when men will go mad, and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him saying, 'You are mad, you are not like us'." --- St Antony of Egypt

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Scott Gilbreath,
Falmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada

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I am webmaster for Christ Church, Windsor. I also blog at Anglican Essentials Canada Blog, and formerly blogged at Magic Statistics.

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Services




Church bulletin bloopers

by Scott Gilbreath ~ October 26th, 2008

My blogging friend John K of A Reasonable Faith has posted two lists of church bulletin bloopers.  Here are some more, which I’ve collected over the years from various sources.

Announcement in a church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

For all the allergy sufferers in our congregation, this is a flower-free Communion Sunday. Opening hymn: “Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming”

The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing “Break Forth Into Joy.”

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers’. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

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1 Response to Church bulletin bloopers

  1. Alan

    And then there was the strange case of Trinity 3 morphing into Lotto Sunday ;-)