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People marrying inanimate objects
by Scott Gilbreath ~ April 13th, 2009
The headline at Discover Magazine’s Discoblog says “Growing Numbers of People Marrying Inanimate Objects”, but only two such people are named in the post. I’m not sure that qualifies as “growing”, but it definitely qualifies as barmy.
Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer is married to the Berlin Wall.
[…]
Berliner-Mauer (the German name for the Berlin Wall, which she has taken as her last name) has since defined her love under the term “objectum sexual,” or OS—in other words, a person who falls in love with inanimate objects. As an animist, she, along with a growing group of others, believe that inanimate objects are sentient, intelligent beings.Take Erika Eiffel, who is married to the Eiffel Tower. Eiffel says she recalls being attracted to objects even as a child, and realized she was different only when she saw other people at school dating each other, while she was dating a bridge.
Here is proof that an “expert” can always be found to rationalise any human fancy, no matter how deranged:
According to certified sexologist Amy Marsh, however, it could be a new sexual orientation.
God help us if Canada’s “human rights” commissions ever latch on to that idea.
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April 13th, 2009 at 06:19 PM
I suppose it was inevitable, but I wasn’t expecting it quite so soon.
April 14th, 2009 at 09:56 PM
[...] PEOPLE marrying inanimate objects …. [...]
April 15th, 2009 at 10:51 PM
Look, if this catches on, I just want everyone to know: I claim dibsies on Michelangelo’s Pietà and the Saint Lawrence River.
April 15th, 2009 at 11:05 PM
Well, I really only want to marry the part between Kingston and Cornwall. The River, I mean. But if I were to concede Montreal Harbor to somebody else, and then Trois-Rivières to Québec to somebody else again, that would be some kind of perverse swinging.
Wouldn’t it?